Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
