I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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