Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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