is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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