It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
The power of my boobs compel you
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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