There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
