love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize