are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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