We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
