Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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