Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
