dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
