i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
That accounts for only three of the penises
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize