: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
