Three words: puerto rican gang bang
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize