I just saw a hot homeless man
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
