Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
