is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
