We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
