Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
