Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
