love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
