she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
