This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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