I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize