i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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