I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
We're too hungover to prance.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
