you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
