My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
