My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
