I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i think i scared a bird with my dick
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
