I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
