3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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