Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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