first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
They are going to name an STD after you.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
