eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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