shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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