Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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