im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize