problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
love makes seman taste better
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Randomize
