ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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