You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
we're so committed to being not committed
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
