how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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