everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
