I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
