Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Also, beer. Big fan.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize