in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
