you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
