Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
