i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
