I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
