It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize