He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize