Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
