i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
