I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
