dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
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