Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
