I puked a lego.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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