spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
